Sup bitches,
This week, I said goodbye to the topknot, and hello to the buzzcut. My hair has never been this short in my life. I was (probably) birthed with a full head of hair, and there’s (probably) more hair on my legs than my head. Thought you should know! <3
The Damage™️
This week’s noteworthy binges.
Nine Perfect Strangers (2021)
ANOTHER show in the vein of The White Lotus and Big Little Lies — which means I’m officially on a 3-week bender.
9 strangers are on holiday at this super secretive, super exclusive spa getaway owned by super cult-y creepy Nicole Kidman. At the end of 10 days, they’re supposed to be “healed” and “transformed”
There’s something in the drinks and that’s all I’m gonna leave you with.
Amazon Prime Video / 45 mins / 5/8 episodes out / psychological thriller, drama
Making The Cut (2020 - )
This one’s for all you Project Runway fans.
Hosted by Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum, it’s a fashion design reality show where the winner gets a whopping 1 million dollar amongst other things.
Designers on the show already have brands, so the quality of work is guaranteed.
I just caught S2 and while it’s not as electrifying as pre-Covid S1, it’s still worth the watch.
S1 judges Naomi Campbell and Nicole Richie were missed, this season we got 2 (iconic, fine) cunts — Jeremy Scott and Winnie Harlow.
Amazon Prime Video / 60 mins / 18 episodes / 2 seasons
Untold: Caitlyn Jenner (2021)
A sports documentary about Caitlyn, mostly pre-transition, with loads of Olympics footage — basically how she used sports to avoid coming to terms with her true self.
New information: Her ex-wife (before Kris Jenner) knew she was trans, and so did her son. Makes me question if Kris knew as well, despite what was said on KUWTK.
It’s kind of inspiring, but also uncomfortable when you know the problematic things Caitlyn has done or said, like voting for Trump, and saying trans women shouldn’t be allowed in women’s sports.
Netflix / 70 mins
He’s All That (2021)
The remake of She’s All That I’ve brought up every other Bitchington is here.
Addison Rae comes across as believable, probably because she’s been acting as this “terminally delightful” character her entire life. Very BenDeLaCreme, but without the irony. So just cringe x69.
I thought Kourtney Kardashian was brilliant, although people said she sucked.
Watch it if you hate yourself. :)
Netflix / 90 mins
Happier Than Ever: A Love Letter to Los Angeles (2021)
The much anticipated Billie Eilish cinematic concert experience! She performed her album from top to bottom to an empty stadium.
It’s an excellent way to experience the album for the first time, if you haven’t heard it. There are lyric subtitles, Finneas, even an orchestra backing her up.
Also, she has the biggest vocabulary of any modern popstar, using more unique words and less repetition in her songs. That’s wild. Read the study here.
If you have commitment issues, check this out for a little taste. Just pure charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent.
Disney+ / 65 mins
Rupaul’s Drag Race All Stars 6
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE FINALE HAS LANDED AND WE HAVE A WINNER, BABY.
Right before the final lip sync, I spontaneously begged the TV for a Lady Gaga song. Let’s just say I manifested it, the lip sync song was Stupid Love. You best believe I screamed and jumped on Jas, who was also screaming. It was an Aries scream fest.
We rewatched the lip sync 3 times before receiving the results. We knew Ginger and Eureka weren’t it, this song does not call for comedy, it calls for triumph, release, freedom. Which both Ra’jah and Kylie delivered. Ra’jah won that lip sync IMO.
Let’s backtrack for a minute. At the start of the episode, I was on #TeamRajah, but didn’t mind Ginger or Kylie too. BUT, when Kylie came out for that maxi challenge performance, I done did flood my basement. It’s funny, because Jas knew I had a crush on Kylie long before I did. Friendship.
Anyway, when Kylie won, I was upset because Ra’jah was objectively the clear winner, but I also wasn’t that upset because of my newly discovered ~feelings~. Ya feel?
First trans winner — stalk her gorgeousness here!
🚨ICYMI 🚨
You snooze, you lose.
[Celebrity] Just like Jesus, Lorde isn’t for everyone and that’s OK.
[Music] Kanye’s Donda has arriveth and I’m here for the Kim K references.
[Music] Kanye’s beef bro, Drake, has also released an album, Certified Lover Boy — R. K*lly has a songwriting credit, and Drake claims he’s a lesbian. Same.
[TV] I’m still way fascinated by The White Lotus and the lasting impression it has left on me. This podcast talks about the strong musical presence that makes this show so fucking iconic. Alternatively, you can read it here.
[MV] The behind-the-scenes of Normani’s Wild Side made me shed some tears for her very bright future.
[Music] FINALLY some Spongebob representation. Lil Nas X’s album cover looks like fuckin gay utopia, heavily inspired by King Spongebob. The album comes out on 17 September and features pop juggernauts Doja, Megan, Miley and Elton.
[Movies] Cinderella is cancelled. Not really, just socially. There’s a HORRENDOUS clip of the cast led by James C*rdon dancing around in costumes, flash mob style but in the middle of a busy road? Billy Porter — pls blink twice if you need help. Anyway the fuckin movie is already on Prime Video and IDK…
[MV] I quite enjoyed Kacey Musgraves’ video for justified. It’s a great song, but maybe I find her a little mild flavoured for my spicy taste profile.
[MV] Pop one under the tongue and a little marijuana then watch this animated version of Doja’s VMA performance.
[Celebrity] I don’t like Scott Disick, never have, never will. What’s he doing talking shit about Kourtney to her ex Younes Bendjima, whom he previously publicly dissed? U ok bro?
[Music] No longer 17. ABBA is making a comeback after 40 years. Listen to 2 new songs here.
[MV] The ever underrated girl group, Little Mix, embody goddesses in their MV for Love (Sweet Love). 2/3 of them are preggoooos awww.
[MV] Songwriter to the stars and superstar in her own right, Victoria Monét, hit all my lols and grooves in her video for Coastin’.
[Fashion] Guess anyone can be a Creative Director now. Kendall Jenner is now one too, for fashion brand FWRD.
[Music] Rico Nasty did Tiny Desk with an all female band! Skip the first song.
[MV] Ms Ma’am Charli XCX just released a MV for Good Ones. Looking fine with that snatched eyeliner, a British accent to rival Dua’s and body ody ody. I believe the song uses the bassline from Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This). Certified banger.
[Fashion] You should buy Skims. :)
[MV] Watch this Caribou MV if you need some life injected back into your veins.
[Music] STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING!!!!!! THE CHROMATICA REMIX ALBUM, DAWN OF CHROMATICA, IS OUT.
⚠️ RADAR ⚠️
Girl, what did that girl just say girl?
[TV] Penn Badgely, whom I will only refer to as Dan Humphrey, will be back on our screens as Joe for the 3rd season of You. Yikes and Yayz.
[Movie] Dune has premiered at the Venice Film Festival, looks like it lives up to expectations!
[Music] Sr Elton John has been mingling with the kids. His album Lockdown Sessions featuring the likes of Dua Lipa will be out in October.
[TV] Marie Kondo’s new Netflix show Sparking Joy is now available and while I haven’t watched it, this review sent me — “It’s only three episodes, and none of them sparked much joy in me; they’re pretty similar to Tidying up With Marie Kondo but phonier and less helpful.”
[Life] Do you want a career or do you just want to work? I just wanna die.
[TV] There’s gonna be a Drag Race WINNERS SEASON apparently. Listen, I’m never gonna complain about “too much drag content.” Just take it as compensation for the many years we DIDN’T have drag on our screens, k? thx.
[TV] The final season of Good Girls just hit Netflix and there are 16 (!!) episodes. Rio, whom I will only refer to as RICO (because of that Rico Nasty bar in Tia Tamera), is so fucking hot. Yes, it’s a dude and yes, I can sometimes, very rarely, almost never, appreciate men.
[TV] Zendaya herself has revealed that S2 of Euphoria is gonna be… intense. I’m scared.
[TV] Only Murders In The Building starring Selena Gomez is one for all you true crime fans. It’s about true crime fans investigating some shit in the building they live in. I’ve heard nice things. 3/8 episodes out on Disney+.
[TV] The Netflix animated series about superhero LGBTQ spies, Q-Force, apparently sucks?! Reviews are kinda mixed, guess we’ll have to watch and see.
[Movie] Kristen Stewart stuns as Princess Diana in the new film trailer for Spencer.
[Culture] A gay bank for gays, by gays??? We have reached peak capitalism.
[TV] Netflixxxxx coming thruuuuu. We’ll have a new season of The Circle USA, Too Hot To Handle (LATIN) and a reality show Metal Shop Masters coming soon.
[TV] Cruella is now available on Disney+ for all subscribers. Finally, fashion eleganza extravaganza on a budget.
[TV] SOS. Season 5 of THE VERY EXCELLENT Netflix show Money Heist IS HERE.
A lot of new releases and screaming this week. I have a lot of feelings, ok? BYE!
XOXO,
Bitchington.