Hello girls, gays and theys,
Ya bitch is going on VACATION. It has been 10+ months of weekly, uninterrupted, Bitchington dispatches and it has been nothing but JOYFUL. I’ll be on hiatus for 2 weeks, which means you can expect the next issue to be a LENGTHY one. There WILL be a bitch-sized hole in my heart, but hey, first vacation in 2+ years? With the love of my life? It’s gonna be GREAT.
The Damage™
This week’s noteworthy binges.
iCarly (2021 - )
Put your fucking hands up if you grew up rushing home from school just to catch this Nickelodeon show, cos I sure did.
The original modern-day Internet content creator, iCarly, set the stage for how we see and consume content on the Internet today. In the original series, she had a video channel that she ran with her best friends where they did weird little things like “random dancing”. It’s kooky and absurd as hell.
Now in their 20s, we follow the lives of Carly, Spencer, Freddie, 2 new POC characters and some familiar faces as guest stars.
I cannot emphasise how GREAT this show is. The writing is sharp and funny, channelling the same brand of weird humour, while keeping it contemporary and original. I’m OBSESSED.
While Sam doesn’t return, Carly has a new bestie roomie who happens to black and bisexual. And in real life, we know her as the SCAM GODDESS. It’s fucking Laci Mosely, besties. An objectively HILARIOUS human being.
Spencer is now a famous artist who got famous by accident. Freddie is back living with his mom after 2 failed marriages, and has an adopted Gen Z child who finds millennials… annoying. That’s all I’ll leave you with — you gotta watch it, especially if you’re a fan of the original.
Watch here / 2 seasons / Season 2 currently still on-air
Inventing Anna (2022)
You’re allowed to swear at me for watching this too late in the game. I initially had the impression that Inventing Anna was going to be documentary-style, serious and not worth my time, but I WAS WRONG.
The drama miniseries is based on reality, with a lot of embellishments about Anna Delvey, a fake German Heiress who conned the rich and famous in New York and LA of billions of dollars.
It has everything you’d expect from Shonda Rhimes and more — glitz, glamour, excess, opulence, drama, and most exciting of all, the SCAM.
The show is pretty meta too. People are willing to be scammed because they’re just so drawn to the mystery that shrouds Anna. It’s also about the performance of wealth, that prevents people from seeing reality. You kinda root for Anna despite everything — knowing that banks and men in positions of power got rewarded instead of punished for their incompetence.
I loved every moment of it. The accents, the lies, the delusion, how just about every character is annoying AF, and how the show lets us laugh and watch the train wreck slowly unfold right in front of our eyes.
Netflix / drama miniseries / 1 season, 9 episodes, an hour + each.
Some more…
The Selling Sunset Reunion was mostly uneventful, with Christine’s absence deeply felt. Jason comes out as a really soft and likeable person. Chrishell sucks as always, and is now dating a non-binary musician? K.
In the latest The Kardashians, we see the engagement of Kravis and their IVF journey, while Scott spirals out of control. That’s about it, tbh.
S2 of Russian Doll was too much for me. It is however, made for bitches into history AND Natasha Lyonne.
I watched Conversations With A Killer: The John Wayne Gacy Tapes and it SUCKS SHIT. DO NOT BOTHER.
Met Gila — Guillotine Glamnot
💃🏼 The Met Gala, was unsurprisingly, a snoozefest. Yet another year of A LOT of men showing up in regular white tie, cos fuck Anna Wintour and her Gilded Glamour theme right? Of course, some exceptions were made for people like Evan Mock, Fredrick Robertsson (questionable theme, but fly as FUCK) and Riz Ahmed a defiant statement!)
💃🏼 Then we have Blake Lively and her Stature of Liberty dress transformation that’s supposed to signify the oxidation of metal. First of all, I hate science. Secondly, does she watch Drag Race at all? Cos that was the most clunky reveal ever. Please.
💃🏼 We need to talk about Kim Kardashian, who infamously wore the exact dress Marilyn Monroe wore when she sang that unnecessarily sultry version of Happy Birthday to JFK. People are mad at her for many reasons. First, it was a stretch in terms of adhering to the theme. Secondly, the dress is meant to be museum-preserved in a temperature controlled room. And third, she talked about how she didn’t eat carbs or sugar for over a week to lose 16 pounds and fit into the dress LOL. Also, Ripley’s apparently gave her a lock of Marilyn’s hair? For what also dunno. While Kim changed into a replica of the dress for the actual dinner, people wonder why she couldn’t have done that in the first place.
💃🏼 And that honourable Rihanna statue moment? It isn’t even real? It’s just a digital rendering. Rihanna loved it, but I am unimpressed. Do a real fucking sculpture or GO HOME.
💃🏼 Safe to say I have no favourite looks and this is just tired now. See for yourselves here.
Tuuuuuuuunes. 🎶
📹 Happy Mother’s Day to my mother monster! Gaga released the music video for Hold My Hand and I’m still as confused as ever. She looks AMAZING though.
📖 We’ve got some new Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees — Dolly Parton, Eminem, Duran Duran, Lionel Richie, amongst others.
💿 Doja Cat dropped a new song, titled Vegas, from the Baz Luhrman Elvis biopic. MVP is the gospel-esque featured singer. So good.
💿 Our buddy Bad Bunny dropped a proper 1h21min album, Un Verano Sin Ti, and it’s a goooood listen.
📹 ALRIGHT, LIZZO. She performed About Damn Time and Special on SNL giving us big grrrrrl energy.
📹 We have 42 mins of Kali Uchis concert footage, IN THIS ECONOMY! You gotta seize it, and watch it.
📹 Christina Aguilera’s video for La Reina took me PLACES.
📹 Kehlani’s most pop-friendly track on the album, up at night, has a video moment.
📹 Unfortunately, A$AP and Rihanna aren’t really engaged. Although it’s a cute non-verbal grilzzz engagement that I’m very into. We see a lot of Rihanna in his video for D.M.B.
📹 Carly Rae Jepsen is BACK with a slow one, Western Wind.
📹 I’m not a Jack Harlow kinda gay but I have to say, his First Class track has a Fergie sample, but no Fergie to be seen in the video.
Hot goss.👩🏽🎤
🙊 Megan Fox says she manifested MGK when she was just 4. And because she’s 4 years older than him, she think she created him. Sounds… healthy? LOL.
🙊 My homegirl SZA has a Crocs collab with a wood look and feel that confuses my soul. More importantly, she says she wears them everywhere. Like for real. Even when she’s swimming in the pool because of it helps with buoyancy. Gotta love her.
🙊 In Houston, May 2 is Megan Thee Stallion Day. We need a Preetipls day in this town.
🙊 Blac Chyna lost TERRIBLY in her court case against the Kardashians. No surprises there.
🙊 FKA twigs now has a trial date set for her lawsuit against Shia Labeouf, who did some proper SHIT to her.
🙊 This fucker is scum. Dave Chapelle was attacked onstage by an audience member and he had the audacity to joke that it was probably a trans man. HORRIBLE.
🙊 Jane Fonda recreated her Glamour cover from 60 years ago! 60!
🙊 THE most interesting designer right now (in my humble opinion), Iris Van Herpen, has words for us to cling onto.
Technicolour. 📺.📺
👁 x📹 Beach House composed music for a new Netflix film, Along for the Ride. The trailer looks kinda shite but how could it be with Beach House as the backdrop right????
👁x📹 I may be wrong, but isn’t it a rare occurrence when Koreans adapt a foreign film? But it’s MONEY HEIST we’re talking about! Watch the teaserrrrr.
👁 Euphoria’s Ashtray may (allegedly) be no more, but dude’s going to be in the new season of Umbrella Academy! Nice one!
👁 WOWWWWWWEEEEE. Janelle Monáe is going to star as the iconic Josephine Baker in a new series! SOMEONE knows what they’re doing!
👁 OK, GAY. As suspected, Cara Delevingue WILL play Selena Gomez’s love interest in S2 of Only Murders in the Building. I’m looking disrespectfully.
👁 Here’s a beautiful personal essay about the impact Heartstopper had on one writer.
👁 Ncuti Gatwa, best known for playing the effervescent Eric on Sex Education, is going to be the 14th Doctor on Doctor Who. 14 already? Who’s keeping up?
👁 Jamie Lee Curtis is feeling the angst and HATES Multiverse of Madness. She want everyone to watch Everything Everywhere All At Once instead and you know what, she’s probably right.
👁 The trailer for Don’t Worry Darling starring Florence Pugh and Harry Styles is HERE. While I still don’t know what the plot is, it looks so aesthetically good.
Liddat lor 👁👄👁
🧶 Turns out, it was Jaboukie Young-White who coined the term “short king” !! A solid 4 years later, it’s still on an upward trend.
🧶 NASA thinks that sending illustrations and DNA descriptions of naked humans will inspire aliens to respond. Guess the universe is horny.
Catch ya bitches in 3 weeks! I MAY have some words in the meantime, on Elon Musk land, Twitter. If you’re into the bird app. Bye!
XOXO,
Bitchington