Hey bitches,
It’s the 100th issue!!!!!!! For a sec there, I did not think we’d make it, but here we are. To celebrate, I’ve curated a list of pop culture things that’s keeping me alive and choking right now.
#1 - Kim Kardashian & her nipple bra.
But first… The Kardashians
Season 4 of The Kardashians has been a PAIN. It’s filled with so much blatant Tristan Thompson propaganda and he honestly doesn’t deserve any of this. No cheater deserves redemption — sorry. I know Khloé is stuck with him, considering he’s the father of her children, and she’s doing it for them. But damn… Stop trying to make us like him.
SKIMS
Meanwhile, we have my fave — Kimberly. She finally released SKIMS for men and made a huge mistake. She thought men would only like blacks and whites and greys for underwear but NOPE. It’s the signature “Kim” colours (bronze) that people are after. I’m people. And those specific colours are sold out!!
Soon, everyone on the NBA, WNBA and USA Basketball will also be wearing SKIMS. So fucking impressive. Kim is an excellent case study of being good at business, partnerships and marketing (and more??). She is every moment. I fucking love Kim Kardashian. In fact, I’m wearing a Kim tee right now.
Brrr… I’m cold.
The announcement of the SKIMS nipple bra destroyed me. It’s the single best thing I’ve witnessed this year. The script. The styling. The delivery of the dialogue. The product. The sheer AUDACITY…
“Some days are hard, but these nipple are harder.
And unlike the icebergs, these aren’t going anywhere.”
Some people think it’s tacky. I think it’s high camp. Watch it immediately (below). Your life depends on it.
North West: a child menace.
North West did an interview with iD and walao eh it’s damn funny in a weird, child-like and deadpan way.
#2 - Doja Cat’s existence.
Idk, Doja Cat could literally spit on me [derogatory] and I’d be like ~yaaas gaga~. I’m a Doja Cat stan, fan, apologist, enthusiast.
A love letter to Doja Cat.
She’s a shapeshifter. Always serving us something new and exciting but most importantly, true to who she is. That is, an internet troll with a twisted sense of humour. In every one of her eras, we have different visuals, sounds and concepts. They’re ALWAYS rooted in her essence. She does whatever the fuck she feels like, and we eat it up every time. She sings, she raps, she does character voices, she dances, she fashions… All at the drop of a hat. And it fucking works. If there’s one takeaway from this, just watch live lounge of her performing Agora Hills and Paint the Town Red.
Romance, with a side of troll.
Her latest release, Scarlet, gave me life. There are a NUMBER of romantic songs that got me feeling some typa way. She flips that shit too, self-aware of how sometimes we’re cringe af when we’re in love.
“You hang up.
No, YOU hang up.”
#3 - Doechii
In the adjacent universe from Doja Cat, there’s Doechii. And surprise! Doja is a fan of hers. So much so, Doechii is the opening act for the Scarlet tour.
It’s crazy how crazy this track Crazy is.
Look… I’m a big fan of women screaming at me in song. It’s my ASMR. Maybe this comes from growing up listening to heavy metal. Maybe it’s toxic femininity (HAHAHA IMAGINE). But Doechii’s 2022 track, Crazy, massages my brain. I can feel her voice liquifying every fucking crevice in my brain in real time. I’d love for Shan, who is a radiographer, to take an MRI of my brain while I’m listening to this track because I swear, something crazy happens. For a long time, I thought that screaming is Doechii’s MO. BUT NOPE. SHE SINGS SWEET MELODIES TOO. I made a smol playlist with essentials to get you ON THIS SHIP STAT.
#4 - Mother Monster.
Lady Gaga did a Very Good song with The Rolling Stones then dipped out. She suddenly dipped in again by performing the song live with them - with a ponytail and stripper heels (not pictured). I’m looking very much respectfully. She did the same thing appearing at a U2 concert at the new Las Vegas Sphere (that surely needs to come with a warning for potentially causing motion sickness and/or epilepsy). In the same type of lewk too. Maybe it’s my ever-optimistic little monster roots talking here but… LG8 — rock album? Based on her track record, we’re due for another album soon. And hopefully this time, we’ll have more visuals and a film too.
#5 - The woman that is Britney Spears.
The internet was right when it said that this woman has suffered more than Jesus. I could not get my hands on the hard copy of her new book, because fucking Amazon fucking cancelled my order on the release date despite it being a pre-order. Fuck you, Jeff Bezos. Anyway, I just got a 30 day trial on Audible and listened to the book for free.
Michelle Williams — another child of Destiny
For one, I heard that Michelle Williams was gonna be narrating it. And I was like… DESTINY’S CHILD MICHELLE WILLIAMS? Nope, it’s white Michelle Williams. Another lady whomst name I will now remember and respect.
The JB of it all
In the book, Britney talks quite a bit about J*stin T*mberlake. Some bombshells included her early days pregnancy and him not wanting the kid — prompting her to get an abortion. A good choice la. But then the part that got me was how when she was in pain after the abortion, he thought grabbing a guitar and singing her a song would make her feel better. Girl…. LOL. Then there’s the part about him doing blaccent.
Oh yeah,
For shiz for shiz
Ginuuuwiiiine.
What’s up homie?
Not that innocent?
While the book delves into dark topics, there’s always a little tinge of innocence behind everything that somehow makes shit even darker, but also lighter. I wish she went into more detail about her conservatorship days. But I’ll never forget her story about being in that mental health facility. It was seriously giving me major Girl, Interrupted vibes.
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Alright, that’s all bitchez. Catch y’all when I catch 'y’all.
XOXO,
Bitchington