Hey girls, gays and theys,
I gotta tell y’all a secret. With such limited time on my hands, I haven’t really been been watching anything new. Instead, I’ve been re-watching That’s So Raven on Disney+. It brings me so much joy. Raven is a star and nobody can dare say otherwise. The best part is you know that despite all the shenanigans and mischief she gets into, it’s all gonna be ok by the end of the episode. That’s the kind of feel-good predictability I need in my life. And knowing what a raging lesbian she actually is… I feel like I’m in great company.
The Damage™
This week’s noteworthy binges.
Wellmania (2023)
Well, well, well. If you’re a big fan of Workin’ Moms like I am, the likelihood of you enjoying Wellmania is pretty high. It’s an Australian show about a chaotic food critic who leads a life full of vices. She’s about to be given the biggest work opportunity of her life, but it comes with a price — to change her ways (temporarily) till she gets a clean bill of health. She throws herself into the world of wellness (badly) in the most unglam way possible.
I won’t say this show’s winning any awards or breaks any ground. But it is a good choice when you’re looking for something stupid. Or just Australian humour, chaos, and a fair dose of raunch (and ranch).
Btw, Celeste Barber, who stars in this, also has a new netflix special out. It’s batshit but a good time.
Netflix / Comedy / 25 minutes, 8 episodes
Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story (2023)
It never registers to me that I actually really enjoy Bridgerton, till a new season / spin-off drops. I go through the motions all over again, pleasantly surprised. It’s such a specific brand of TV that nobody really occupies. It’s not quite like Downton Abbey, nor does the romance feel particular similar to anything else. It’s ol timey, but also really modern at the same time.
Anyway, this spin-off follows the adventures (or misadventures) of Queen Charlotte starting from right before she meets her husband. It answers all the questions we have while watching Bridgerton. How did a Black Queen rise to the throne? How come in this universe racism doesn’t exist (spoiler: it did)? And most importantly, what the fuck happened to King George?
The love story between Charlotte and George is anything but simple. From how they first meet through an arranged marriage (cute though), to secrets causing discord, and how they conquered it all. Mental illness plays quite a role in this series, in ways I shan’t say because I’m a spoiler-free Queen.
I’d say that chemistry-wise, Charlotte and George come second to Kate and Anthony. Sorry to Daphne and Simon.
Btw, top notch casting. Shout out to Lady Danbury. I love how the show also explored themes of female friendship.
Netflix / 1 hour, 6 episodes
Some more…
Jewish Matchmaking. The sister series to Indian Matchmaking, the series follows a jewish matchmaker who traverses between the US and Israel. Unlike Aunty Sima, this Queen can really read people. No dismissing women for being too “picky”. Shout out to her.
John Mulaney: Baby J. Our dude over here is back in the scene after rehab. In his latest Netflix stand-up comedy special, it’s more of a catch-up session. Did not laugh once, but definitely intrigued by the storytelling.
Selling Beverly Hills. Like Selling Sunset, but with more of a ~career~ angle. The interpersonal drama between colleagues and career progression. There are juniors and seniors, good mentors and bad mentors, and my favourite: nepotism.
Rupaul’s Drag Race All-Stars 8. There are 3 episodes out, and also untucked. Eliminated queens get to showcase the outfits they prepared and stand a chance to win an online fame game where they could win cash money. A good development!! We’re also full steam ahead with the lip sync assassin format.
Tuuuuuuuunes. 🎶
New music releases, news, drama
📖: KAPOW. Janelle Monáe is back back back again and you know we’re about to receive some sexxxxxxxxx. The new album is titled The Age of Pleasure, coming out on 9 June. The video for Lipstick Lover is soooooo much, it got Shan (and me tbh) gagged.
📖: Beyhive, assemble. Beyoncé’s Renaissance Tour kicked off and it hurts my heart, soul and the tips of my hair to see all these clips. Even if she does come to Singapore, you know our countryfolk will ruin everything with the shitty sound system, shitty stage, shitty everything. We’re looking into getting tickets to San Francisco to catch it. It’s that much of an emergency.
📖: On the bird app, Ms Doja Cat said that Hot Pink and Planet Her were cash grabs and we fell for it. People are sooo mad at her (again). I don’t understand that at all. Like what Leslie said about Miley, she’s just being Doja!!!!!!!!!! Anyway she also got a bunch of new tattoos including a largé back piece. Nice leh.
💿: It’s the 10th anniversary of Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories and they released a special 2-disc. It’s like falling in love all over again. If you’re HEAVILY INVESTED, this excellent music podcast will be dissecting a Daft Punk album every week. They already did one for Homework and it’s super good. We learn about the origins of the synthesiser and so much more. Music history innit.
💿: Another album I’ve been listening to — Mike Dean’s 4:23. This album is a banger. Heavy psychedelic synth vibes. For easy reference, it’s kinda like The Weeknd’s Dawn FM. In fact, Abel features on easily 4-5 different songs on the album.
💿: Since I listened to that one Kim Petras track last week, I’ve been HOOKED on Alice Deejay’s 2000 album, Who Needs Guitars Anyway? I’m so sorry but that title is sooooooo good. It really does what is says! So much electronic/house vibes that it’ll get you thinkin — WHO NEEDS GUITARS ANYWAY? 😘👌🏾
💿: Unlike Madonna who enjoys Spanish Lullabys, I love being musically yelled at in Spanish. That’s what Pabllo Vittar did in her new album, Noitada. SO MUCH ENERGY. And actual yelling in Descontrolada. Maybe listening to Tokischa’s Linda did it for me.
💿: Beyoncé surprise released a remix of America Has a Problem ft. Kendrick Lamar.
📖: Looks like The Weeknd is now going by his birth name, Abel Tesfaye. He’s on a press tour right now for The Idol and has 2 profiles — for W mag (with Lily Rose-Depp) and Vanity Fair. On a slightly unrelated note, it appears that Lily Rose-Depp might be dating 070 Shake. Y’know, Kehlani’s ex? Escandalo!
Hot goss.👩🏽🎤
That’s gossip.
🙊: HARRRRRRR Chrishell is married to G Flip! The new season of Selling Sunset is out and yes indeed, we get to SEEEEEEE their relationship. Reality TV, gotta love it. I’m still watching the season and would like to quickly say that I’m a fan of Chrishell this season, completely unrelated to her queerness. I’ll say more next week!
🙊: I thought Rihanna’s a big fan of SZA or smth, naming her first born child RZA. Turns out I’m stupid and it’s after Wu-Tang’s RZA. LOL my bad gurl.
🙊: Adidas finally decided what to do with their unsold ~ $1 billion worth of Yeezy stock. They’re gonna sell them. Then donate the money to charity. It is unclear if Ye will receive any part of the proceeds. If he does, that’s kinda weird. If he doesn’t, that’s also weird. How sia.
🙊: After reading this piece about Tom Holland, I’ve gained some respect for him. He’s been sober for 1 year+. And he spoke about the difficulties he faced while filming for the new AppleTV+ series, The Crowded Room. I might even watch it.
🙊: Beyoncé has a hair line?! This feels so natural, it should’ve happened a long time ago.
🙊: Here’s a really good interview that Miley Cyrus did with British Vogue. Yes, she has been through a lot of unnecessary shit as a young star. But what’s great is she’s worked through it all. I stan so hard. We also learn that she’s 2 years sober!!! She doesn’t party anymore. Instead, she organises dance classes with her friends (at home) where they learn Madonna dances for example. Sounds like hella fun.
🙊: Billie Eilish and Jesse Rutherford broke up after 7 months :)
🙊: Rupaul’s house is kinda wildly exactly what you’d think it’ll look like. Except I thought I’ll see some fracking evidence (LOL). He takes us on a tour for AD.
JAIL. 🚔
Featuring literal matters of JAIL and general debauchery.
🏃🏻♂️: Here’s everything that happened at King Charles’ coronation if you give a fuck. I’m just forever stuck on the thought that his fingers look like sausages reminiscent of Everything Everywhere All At Once. Then I try not to think about his sex life. Sorry.
🏃🏻♂️: I am so gagged that Taylor Swift is actually dating the very greasy and problematic Matty Healy. Why is he problematic? This thread bares it all. Would’ve very much preferred Diana Agron.
🏃🏻♂️: Ugh. Robert De Niro, age 79, has welcomed his 7th child.
🏃🏻♂️: Apparently Harry and Meghan were involved in a 2 hour long car chase with paparazzi?!!? There are many different reports. We’ll just have to wait for the tea. Either way, Harry is probably re-traumatised AF.
Sissy-TV. 📺.📺
Big screen, small screen.
👁: Did we learn NOTHING from Ellen Degenerate? Employees of the Kelly Clarkson Show say that their workplace is hella toxic and emotionally abusive. They however make a point to mention that this has nothing to do with Kelly, but everything to do with the executive producer, Alex Duda. DO BETTER!!
👁: Jenna Ortega and her jawline will be starring in Beetlejuice 2. I guess Tim Burton loves her. That’s just good news for us.
👁: OMG Freaky Friday 2 is a GO and both Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan will be reprising their roles as mother and daughter.
Liddat lor 👁👄👁
It is what it is.
🧶: The H&M x Mugler collection was released and I completely missed the boat. Everything is sold out lol.
THAT’S ALL FOLKS.
XOXO,
Bitchington